Vintage

by SHINING WIZADO

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about

The classic (debatable) SHINING WIZADO EPs, all gathered into one neat little package. Enjoy!

credits

released September 23, 2012

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Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.

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Super Blizzard Seattle, Washington

Musician/Game Dev/General Nerd planted in Olympia

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Track Name: American Dickbutt (The Daniel Bryan Danielson Story)
TAP OR SNAP
AMERICAN DRAGON
TAP OR SNAP

He's got tight-ass boots
He's got a sweet ring jacket
He's got fucking vitiligo
He's got your fucking life in his hands

TAP OR SNAP

He's gonna fight for justice
He's gonna be the champion
He's gonna eat some fucking tofu
He's gonna make you scream in pain

YOU'RE GONNA GET YOUR
FUCKING HEAD KICKED IN

Here comes the American Dragon
What you gonna do with the American Dragon
Yo he's the fucking American Dragon
And you're gonna get your fucking head kicked in

He'll fucking elbow you right in the face
Fucking leg lock your shit
Cattle Mutilation all over the nation
No stopping
SUBMISSION WRESTLING

HE'S COMING FOR YOUR LIFE
HE'S COMING FOR YOUR LADIES
HE'S COMING FOR YOUR FAKE MEATS

Here comes the American Dragon
What you gonna do with the American Dragon
Man you can't fuck with the American Dragon
Get down on your knees for the American Dragon

Here comes the American Dragon
What you gonna do with the American Dragon
You can't fuck with the American Dragon
Tap the fuck out to the American Dragon
Track Name: STEVE F**KING BLACKMAN
Don't turn your back or he'll hit you with a Kendo stick
Don't turn your front or he'll hit you with a Roundhouse kick
Don't turn your side or he'll hit you in the fucking dick
Whatever you do to save yourself you better do it quick

Steve Fucking Blackman he's on the attack man
He knows Karate and he sees that you've been slackin'
Steve Fucking Blackman punch your flippin' crack in
He's not a dude that you want to interact with
Steve Fucking Blackman Steve Fucking Blackman
Steve Fucking Blackman

He is a man with iron hands and a will of steel
Like superman but without the suit or the superpowers yeah
He's got some pants they're black and loose with lots of room for breezes
He's got the crosshairs on your face you better get your face away man

Don't turn your back or he'll hit you with a Kendo stick
Don't turn your front or he'll hit you with a Roundhouse kick
Don't turn your side or he'll hit you in the fucking dick
Whatever you do to save yourself you better do it quick

Steve Fucking Blackman he's on the attack man
He knows Karate and he sees that you've been slackin'
Steve Fucking Blackman punch your flippin' crack in
He's not a dude that you want to interact with
Steve Fucking Blackman Steve Fucking Blackman
Steve Fucking Blackman (you're never comin' back man)

He has a pair of sticks with which he strike your flesh
His pants are black as is his name because his name is Blackman
He punches people not for fun but because it makes them stronger
Well that's a lie he thinks it's fun but that's a secret don't tell anybody

Steve Fucking Blackman he's on the attack man
He knows Karate and he sees that you've been slackin'
Steve Fucking Blackman punch your flippin' crack in
He's not a dude that you want to interact with
Steve Fucking Blackman Steve Fucking Blackman
Steve Fucking Blackman
Track Name: Botchamania
It was some time ago
I was a wrestling fan
But I couldn't even watch it
Thought it was so fucking bland
Got sick of boring matches
Got sick of scripted promos
I had a sickness and I
Needed a cure
I went online to kill some time
And saw you on a message board
You didn't look promising but you were there
And I was sick of porn
And so I watched you with a frown
And you turned it upside down
Now I only want you baby
Even though you been around

Botchamania you're not alone
When you are in the Danger Zone
There is no Danger here inside
The Danger Zone of my heart
Botchamania my love for you
Is like 21 I got 22 I don't even care
If you're making money
I came to love you
Check the adjective: love

A year or two went by
And I still want your nookie
And so I sneak a peak
At your website when you're not looking
Always reminding us
Everybody talks too much
I forgive you for the shit with that guy's knee
That was fucked up
Screen-capture Jim Cornette
Tweet it to Vince McMahon
And then he runs and breaks his ankle
And we laugh at him ha ha ha
All of your music rocks
You're sponsored by CHIKARA
You'll be around as long as
World Wrestling Entertainment
Continues to employ
And push Sin Cara

Botchamania you're not alone
When you are in the Danger Zone
There is no Danger here inside
The Danger Zone of my heart
Botchamania my love for you
Is like 21 I got 22 I don't even care
If you're making money
You better bring a lunch
Botchamania you're beautiful
The way that you move I need you so
I never could leave you say you won't
And I will believe you oh
Botchamania I can't believe
You haven't been sued by everyone
Especially CZW
They don't come across too well
Track Name: I Hate You Heath Slater
(these may or may not be accurate)

I hate your nickname
You're not a one-man rock band
You're just a man with a stupid nickname
You don't even have a guitar what's with that bro?

I hate that you're a ginger
I don't even hate gingers in general
It's just the fact that you are one
Makes me hate you even more than I would if you weren't

I hate yooooou
HEATH SLATER

I hate your stupid finisher
I mean a reverse DDT? seriously?
You could just not fall and do a dragon sleeper instead
Or just say screw it and do a rock bottom or something

I hate your first name
Because it makes me think of Heathcliff
And your hair is the same color as Heathcliff
I think you should change your gimmick to a talking cat

I hate yooooou
HEATH SLATER

I didn't mean to make you sad
I didn't mean to give you fright
I hope your sleep is safe and sound
While Justin Gabriel holds you in the niiiiiiiiiight
Track Name: YES
I'm a great wrestler
Not a genetic freak
Mess with me you get your head kicked
Off of your shoulders into next week

I'm the smartest I'm the best
You show me you got and I'll put it to the test
You wanna fight that's fine by me
I'll be standin' in the corner sayin' YES YES YES

I'm also a Vegan
No meat or cheese
Unlike you fatties in the audience
I can actually bend my knees

I'm so healthy I'm the best
Letting a family of birds use my beard as a nest
This weekend I'm gonna take a nature walk
I'll be skippin' through the forest sayin' YES YES YES

Screamin' out YES I'm the freshest thing goin'
But push me to my limit and my fury starts showin'
I'm amazin' at every occasion I raze the competition
Leave 'em wishin' they was fired like Maven
Man I got a cravin' pass me a leaf or some berries
Before I bury 'em SIX FEET DEEP I'm terror
I'll kick your head so hard you're speakin' spanish
Call me Penn and Teller I'll make your career vanish

My girlfriend loves me
And I appreciate that
She's only 95 freakin' pounds
Because I make her eat NOTHIN BUT WALNUTS

She's so pretty she's the best
I let her touch my muscles and she lets me touch her
Her parents are totally out of town tonight
I'll be touchin' on her boobies sayin' YES YES YES
Track Name: Devil (In My DNA)
I am the best in the world at everything
You're just a stupid little boy in motion
This is the end of a world of wannabes
And in the ashes you will be noone

Your father's a drinker
Your sister's an addict
And you are a bastard
And you're gonna slip

You wanna get inside my head and
You wanna prey on all my secrets
If there's a devil in my DNA then
It will devour us both completely
My shadow is long and winding
And the edges are sharp and deadly
You wanna push me into darkness
I'll make you wish you never had met me

You are a liar
I'm not a bastard
All I need is a moment
And you're gonna slip

Your father's a drunk
(HIT ME)
You sister's an addict
(HIT ME)
Your mother is worthless
(HIT ME)
And you are the same
(HIT ME)
Track Name: KS:ZE
Going to the zoo today
To watch the baby monkeys play
The penguin tank is all the rage
But who's that by the lion cage

It's Kevin Steen, Kevin Steen
He's a Zoo Enthusiast
It's Kevin Steen, Kevin Steen
He thinks they are the grooviest

He don't need no excuses
He just gets in his car and rides

He's got a fever and the only prescription
IS GOING TO THE ZOO

I hear a scream from over yonder
So over yonder I do wander
And I do spot a troubling sight
People running left and right
The warden grabs me by the collar
And into my face the warden hollers
HURRY UP AND RUN YOU STUPID JERK
THERE'S A MONKEY ON THE LOOSE AND HE'S GOING BERSERK!

But Kevin is already in control
He's got the monkey in his sights
He laughs in the face of danger and he gives the monkey
A PACKAGE PILEDRIVER

It's Kevin Steen, Kevin Steen
He's a Zoo Enthusiast
It's Kevin Steen, Kevin Steen
He thinks they are the grooviest

Everybody freezes in total suprise
And look at Kevin with tears in their eyes
They beg him PLEASE SIR WE LOVE YOU
YOU MUST STAY AND PROTECT THE ZOO

But Kevin just laughs and tells him he must leave
For there are other zoos that must be saved

BUT BEFORE I GO MY CHILDREN
IF YOU REALLY WANNA KNOW MY NAME

It's Kevin Steen, Kevin Steen
I'm a Zoo Enthusiast
Kevin Steen, Kevin Steen
I think they are the grooviest
Track Name: Ryder or Riot
I think Zack Ryder should have all the titles
I think Zack Ryder should have all the titles
I think Zack Ryder should have all the titles
I think Zack Ryder should have all the titles

Ryder or Riot
Ryder or Riot
Hold my sign up high
If you try to take it I'll hide it
Chanting Ryder or Riot

Hold my sign up high
(when my girlfriend comes back then I'll hide it)
Chanting Ryder or Riot

Every single minute of every single day
I'm thinking about Zack Ryder
and the injustices he's facing
I can't stand to see it so I hope and I pray
He will have all of the titles one day

NWA (give up your belt)
Dragon Gate (give up your belt)
New Japan (give up your belt)
Who's the man? (give up your goddamn belt)
CHIKARA Pro (give up your belt)
ROH (give up your belt)
IWA-MS (give up your belt)
WOO WOO WOO
YOU KNOW IT
Track Name: And I Quote
Hey guys, I’m Michael Cole
I’m a cool guy and I’ve covered wars
The voice of the company on every show
My Cole Miners are in full force

JR is fat and I hate his hat
His BBQ sauce is akin to my butt
Lawler is stupid and is mother is dead
Ha ha it’s funny cause his mother is dead

Michael Cole [x4]

Daniel Bryan is a NERD
(Michael Cole)
He doesn’t even own a TV!
(Michael Cole)
I’m the voice of the WWE!
(Michael Cole)

@wwejoshmatthews faggot
Track Name: TEDDEH
Four men in the ring and they all want to fight?
STRAIGHT-UP TAG TEAM MATCH
Two bad guys won't do what is right?
STRAIGHT-UP TAG TEAM MATCH
A real big jerk makes fun of your suit?
STRAIGHT-UP TAG TEAM MATCH
The audience hates you and you're pelted with fruit?
STRAIGHT-UP TAG TEAM MATCH

Wherever there is evil
And men are doing wrong
They'll have to face the wrath
Of good-old Teddy Long
Don't pretend you're injured
He's knows that you're a faker
And now you're gonna have to fight
DA UNDATAKAH

Your car breaks down and you have to carpool?
STRAIGHT-UP TAG TEAM MATCH
Carlito says that you're not cool?
STRAIGHT-UP TAG TEAM MATCH
An evil witch inflicts you with a terrible curse?
STRAIGHT-UP TAG TEAM MATCH
When Randy Orton takes a poop in your purse
STRAIGHT-UP TAG TEAM MATCH

Wherever there is evil
And men are doing wrong
They'll have to face the wrath
Of good-old Teddy Long
Don't pretend you're injured
He's knows that you're a faker
And now you're gonna have to fight
DA UNDATAKAH
Track Name: Neo Solar Prayer
His hands descending from the sky to take you in
His kingdom great and dark encompass all that lies within
His eyes devouring the will and heart he craves
No god but Mantis and all are his slaves

So bend and pray to the king of lies
The insect lord of the temple arise
Lower your head and don't turn your back
To your new mind UltraMantis Black

You cannot run from
The darkened skyline
His holy wisdom
Will make you divine

Now choice is gone you can only obey
Any struggle any life will be eaten away
For when the skies are asunder and the earth is cracked
Praise your new mind UltraMantis Black

You cannot run from
The darkened skyline
His holy wisdom
Will make you divine

When the sun is eclipsed by the shadow he cries
That the time has come for the puppets to rise
Old world is dead we cannot go back
So praise the lord UltraMantis Black

You cannot run from
The darkened skyline
His holy wisdom
Will make you divine

So bend and pray to the king of lies
The insect lord of the temple arise
Lay your soul on the edge of the blade
The message is mystic do not be afraid
Track Name: Let's Get Hardcore
LET'S GET HARDCORE

We got STEEL CHAIRS
We got FRYING PANS
We got COOKIE SHEETS
We got STREET SIGNS

LET'S GET HARDCORE

We got SLEDGEHAMMERS
We got BRASS KNUCKLES
We got BARBED WIRE
We got YAPPAPAI STRAPS

LET'S GET HARDCORE

Blood pain
We're all insane
Suffer head trauma
Destroy our brains

High dives
Guns and knives
Nobody gets out
With their lives

I'm gonna hit your face
With a fuckin' brick
And then I'll get a wolf
Get him to bite your dick
I'll cut you with a knife
And then I'll go to jail
Then I'll get out of jail
And do it all again

LET'S GET HARDCORE
Track Name: Snow Day
LET'S GET HARDCORE

We got STEEL CHAIRS
We got FRYING PANS
We got COOKIE SHEETS
We got STREET SIGNS

LET'S GET HARDCORE

We got SLEDGEHAMMERS
We got BRASS KNUCKLES
We got BARBED WIRE
We got YAPPAPAI STRAPS

LET'S GET HARDCORE

Blood pain
We're all insane
Suffer head trauma
Destroy our brains

High dives
Guns and knives
Nobody gets out
With their lives

I'm gonna hit your face
With a fuckin' brick
And then I'll get a wolf
Get him to bite your dick
I'll cut you with a knife
And then I'll go to jail
Then I'll get out of jail
And do it all again

LET'S GET HARDCORE
Track Name: Cane Dewey (EP Version)
Dewey Foley is a very young boy
And you are a man who made a big mistake
The people you love they don't love you back
Tommy if you die their hearts won't break
They want pain and they want your blood
Their eyes are hungry for only vice
The phone call came down and you said no
I won't let you make the same mistake twice

God isn't with you inside this den of sin
This place is a game and Tommy you can't win

They don't care about you

It makes me sad to see you like this
You used to be so strong and true
You're on the road to end up like me
Tommy I used to be just like you
If I have to hurt you to save your life
Then I won't hesitate to be kind
I will tear out with my bare hands
The illusion of love that has made you blind

Cause it isn't worth it to hear them chant your name
If I let you go under I have only myself to blame

They don't care about you

Dewey Foley is a very young boy
And I am the man who's gonna save your life
Track Name: Summer of Punk (EP Version)
I can't believe you believed me
How easy it was to decieve you all
Your love and admiration in the palm of my hand
So I'm takin' what you love and I'm leavin'

You won't know when
You won't know where
But I'm gettin' out of here

I was frozen in the ice
You gave me shelter, you gave me life
Opened your heart for me to break
Rose up and bit you
You stupid old man
I am a snake

So throw your hate and despise me
I'm a coward, I'm a liar, I've heard 'em all before
See I built this world around you with my two hands
So I'm leaving it in ashes behind me

They all want to stop me, but I ain't goin' down
Set their messiah on fire and put their angel in the ground
Like a king on his throne with the people at my feet
I am complete

I was frozen in the ice
You gave me shelter, you gave me life
Opened your heart for me to break
Rose up and bit you
You stupid old man
I am a snake
Track Name: Antichrist (EP Version)
I am sick there is no cure
And if you ever were my friend
I know you'll understand
I gotta set a fire to whatever we were

My vision is set I can't see the past
Because in the act of breaking you
I know that I was born anew
The antichrist has risen at last

I reached up to heaven and I pulled down the chair
And in giving up my soul
I found absolute control
You're going to Hell I'm sending you there

You are the cancer I am the knife
When the shot rang out so loud
I could feel my mind uncloud
I took your mask I'll take your life

And if you ever were my friend
I know you'll understand
I'm going to Hell I'm meeting you there
Track Name: The Show Must Go On (EP Version)
A tower of power
That reached into the skies
Arms raised in victory, you were a god
To our young unwavering eyes
I heard that you died
In the middle of the night
You stepped off of the stage, gave up your spot
But you couldn't shake the light

But the show must go on
The show must go on
Even when time takes what you love
The show must go on

They hooked you to the harness
But the harness wouldn't hold
And you fell from the sky like rays of the sun
Into the darkness and the cold
Now everybody wants to blame
To try to cover up their scars
And it hurts us every day that we'll never see your name
Written out among the stars

But the show must go on
The show must go on
Even when pain takes what you love
The show must go on

The best in the world
But we didn't read the signs
And the pills and the falls you took every night
They tore apart your mind
And now you're a monster
And nobody says your name
And where once there was pride, where once there was love
There now is only shame

But the show must go on
The show must go on
Even when madness takes what you love
The show must go on